I think it is my first post after I made my blog, right?
So, what I'm gonna write about is me, the owner of this blog, Hee Jung.
I made my blog for my writing class in GLPS program but, I hope I can communicate with many friends in website with this blog.
Ok, I will introduce me very simply (In three paragraph, there's one lie.
My name is Sarah(Hee Jung, Eim), 6th grade in shinbaekhyun elementary school. I think I'm very special and different with others. I was born in Korea but my mother and father took me to England when I was 2 years old. My England friends had a problem to communicate with me first time. As a result, I was bullied in my old school. However, after they understood and know me well, they became to my best friends. Much to me and my friends' regret, i came back to Korea when I was 4th grade to study math program. I spended my all times of young baby and young kid in England, but I want to work in Korea when I grow up and also when I become an adult, I want to visit my old hometown, London.
Second, I'd like to talk about my dreams this time. (Actually, I'm little shy to say my own dream) My dream is to be a professional announcer and also entertainer. I want to announce people a important and essential news and also entertain others. If I have a special reason of entertainer, I heared Korean singer group Lessang's song and it said he hurt in his mind about people but he healed with people. As a result, I want to heal others if I have one more dream job, it's CEO. I just like to design something really special that anyone cannot think about it. Since I saw the actress's company, and i just want to make my own brand. I'm dreaming people in the street bring my brand's bag.
I want to tell you about my interest. I like to speak in front of the audience on the stage, so I am working for school announcer. I think It is really fascinating and also essential job in society. Another interest is handsome actors or singers. My favorite singer is G-Dragon and also Jason Mraz. I'm collecting G Dragon and Jason Mraz's own albums and posters. I also buy form my friends, too. Sometimes, I feel really sad that I am teenager. I hope I born 10 years more earlier. Some of my friends asked me "Why do you like G-Dragon. Then I said like this 'he is different with other singer. He is handsome, and he have his own unique voice which anybody can't have. And also he's musical tallent is brilliant!!".
My self introducing is end and I hope we can enjoy and communicate well! Thank you for watching my long essay! (Before you log out from my blog, please write your comments, thoughts, opinions or blah blah blah,, anything you want to write! Visit my blog anytime you can!!)
My self introducing is end and I hope we can enjoy and communicate well! Thank you for watching my long essay! (Before you log out from my blog, please write your comments, thoughts, opinions or blah blah blah,, anything you want to write! Visit my blog anytime you can!!)
Hi, I'm Sin Tae your writing TA.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I would like to say that it is a very well written self-introduction. There are minor grammatic errors, but I think we can work on it through this camp.
I believe that the second paragraph about your dream could be improved by working on organization. You started the paragraph by saying "My dream is to be a professional announcer and also entertainer." So the readers expect to see why you are interested in announcing or entertainment. However later in the paragraph, it talks about CEO and making your own brand. These two dreams are not really connected in your paragraph. I suggest that you can either talk about just one dream, or start the paragraph by saying that you have two dreams and then listing the two. Either way the organization would be improved and readers will be easier to understand.
Overall, I liked your essay. It gave me a good picture of who you are. Keep up the good work!
Hi Heejung:) I'm your writing TA, Jiyoung. I really enjoyed your writing. I especially liked how you divided into three parts. There are some grammatical mistakes, but just minor things. We'll go over them later on. Besides, it would have been better if your font size was a little larger-it was hard to read. Keep up the good work:)
ReplyDeleteHi Heejung. I'm Chanjung Kim, your writing TA.
ReplyDeleteI consider your writing as very fun and interesting to read. As I read this essay, I was able to learn how passionate a person you are and how much you are trying to achieve your dream; I hope your dream come true in the future. Plus, I really appreciate your writing skill that you correctly divided the paragraphs which made the writing much easier to read and understand.
Maybe the first one is the lie? You are a very good liar so it is hard to tell. Wonderful post. Very nicely structured with pictures etc.
ReplyDeletePlease increase the size of your font. I think it is a little small and hard to read.:)